While most of us keep secrets to protect ourselves (reputation, pride, etc.), we are ignoring the more serious problem: keeping secrets is harmful – our relationships are less satisfying and our health tends to be worse – sometimes to the point that it can result in a more rapid progression of disease and illness.  Our overall well-being is generally lower and our secrecy can also lead to increased anxiety and depression.

So, if they are so damaging, why else do we keep secrets? 

Embarrassment and shame are often the cause.  When we are ashamed of our actions and behavior, the last thing we want to do is broadcast our poor behavior to the world- especially to the people we are close too that we want to think well of us. People are also likely to lie, withhold information or perform other forms of deceitfulness in order to preserve their reputation and standing in other people’s eyes, as well as their own. “If they don’t know what I did, they can’t/won’t think less of me because of it.”