I’ve given up using session numbers for Therapy Thursday for a couple reasons:
- I’m combining lessons from various sessions
- This would be session 13. Draw your own conclusions…
What you are resistant to is what should be addressed.
Have you ever realized that “something” in your life needed to change?
That “something” could be a way of thinking, a habit we have, certain behaviors or responses.
But, change is hard. We are, after all, creatures of habit and familiarity feels good, even when it isn’t.
Can you think of any occasions in your life where you resisted making necessary changes in your life, even though you KNEW it was for your own good?
AND
When you recognized your resistance to making those changes, did you ever take the time to stop and examine why?
After all, why would anyone NOT make changes if they know it would improve their life, relationships, career, etc.?
Because Change is Hard
There’s humility and vulnerability in recognizing that we need to change – it forces us to acknowledge that we are not perfect.
Worse than that, it means that OTHER people might also know we are flawed… and that can stir up a whole host of anxieties.
Fear can be a crippling deterrent.
Fear can stop you from doing what is best for you, but
What you are resistant to is what should be addressed.
The same walls which keep you safe also keep you imprisoned.
We sabotage ourselves when the walls we put up to protect ourselves become our self-made prisons instead. Our unconscious behaviors undermine our efforts at creating the life (and future) we want. And even when we recognize, at the deepest level of our being, that the barriers we’ve erected are counterproductive to our own success and happiness, we still struggle to bring the walls down or come out from behind them because of our fear(s).
Our fears are often rooted (and revealed) in harmful behaviors such as negative self-talk & criticism (for ourself and others), having a fixed mindset (“That’s just the way I am”) & having unfavorable perceptions and emotions (low self-esteem).
It’s difficult to succeed when you approach a situation already anticipating your failure, and then your subsequent failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Then the cycle begins again.
No good ever comes from putting up walls. What people mistake for safety is in fact captivity. And few things thrive in captivity.
Breaking the Cycle
CHOICES
In order to break the down the walls, we have important decisions to make.
How we think and how we feel is a choice.
How we face the obstacles that come our way is also a choice. How much differently would we approach situations if saw obstacles as opportunities, instead?
We must make choices that reflect our hopes and intentions, not our fears and failings.
We’ll need to cultivate patience as we make small, but meaningful shifts in our thoughts, feelings and attitudes, and remind ourselves that lasting changes seldom happen instantaneously.
Most importantly, in order to show ourselves (and others) grace, we must recognize that imperfection is what make us human and accept imperfection as part of life.
What will you choose?
Don’t build walls where there should be doors.
Remain aligned with your core values.
Remember who you are and why you do what you do. As you move through this adventure called life, consider what truths you want people to remember about you, then live them, boldly.
Embrace the opportunity to tear down the walls that hold you hostage to your fears.
