It is my pleasure and privilege to give voice to a childhood friend, Jerri Gillean, who has written this month’s guest post. When we talked about different topics she was considering sharing, she said, “Ohhh.. I have another one. It’s heavy.”
So of course I wanted to read it. And when I did, I knew it was perfect for this month. After all, we are here to think, grow and be transformed. Conversations with Jerri have always been transformative for me.
Without further ado…
I volunteered at a family homeless shelter while I was living near downtown Portland several years ago.
Over time, I got to know some of the families, their plights and issues. One resident was an imposing woman with a booming voice to match her personality, I’ll call her Eva. Her 18 year old daughter was living with her at the shelter, but adult children were not allowed and for a few months they lost privileges of staying in the shelter. When Eva became pregnant, they were given a reprieve, the baby made them, once again, a family. Eva expressed a lot of joy about this baby, a new chance, a new life.
One night, Eva’s daughter was at the shelter alone. Her mom, five months pregnant, had been admitted to the hospital. When I saw her next I learned she delivered the baby at 5 months, and her baby, a girl, lasted only an hour or so before passing on. What happened next was unexpected and life changing. She showed me pictures. They had dressed the five month old preemie in baby in clothes.
There is an exhibit at OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) that shows a fetus at every stage weekly of development. I have always found that exhibit difficult to view.
When I saw the pictures of that baby in clothes, a switch flipped. It absolutely changed the way I view abortion. I am pro-choice. Staunchly. I have had hours of productive conversation with those who are on the opposite side of the fence, but I still couldn’t grasp at the concept they stand behind ‘killing the innocent’, but suddenly, in one photograph, I got it.
This baby was not aborted, she was delivered and she died, but the choice to abort the baby could have been made earlier. That was a very real choice for the mother and one that made sense. She was homeless, she had an 18 year old daughter, she had a history of substance abuse. But there she was, pregnant and excited about the new life, a life that would give her a way to stay off the street.
When I saw that baby in clothes, it made it so real about abortion being a choice to end a life. Whether or not it is a viable life is not the observation. When a tomato first develops from the flower it isn’t edible, but no one questions whether it is a tomato. A baby growing in a womb is life.
So how do we all get on the same page because I think we can all agree that we don’t want anyone to suffer. But unwanted children? That can cause suffering. Aborting a viable fetus? That can cause suffering. A woman forced to carry an unviable fetus to term? That also can cause suffering.
If we all dig down deep, we should agree that life should be about love and not suffering. So how do we get out of black and white thinking and into the million shades of gray that it really entails? How do we stop the meme’s and start the conversations? How do we sit at the table and focus on our interests and not on our positions? How can we focus on love and not on suffering?
