Isn’t it funny how you can build friendships with people you have never met in person? I’m so pleased to have built a deeper friendship with Tisian, who I met at an online women’s bible study group in early 2022. We’ve had many discussions about listening (and being obedient) to God’s voice- and we both agree that it can be hard when we don’t ‘hear’ him the way we expect. Tisian was gracious enough to write this month’s guest post, shown below…
For weeks I have pondered what to write about, life, relationships, spirituality, my students, who knows. I’ve been knocked on my butt for the past few weeks and have tried my best to avoid the continuous unfortunate situations that I seem to encounter at least once a month. But I’ve made a revelation. I have fallen into the realm of awareness of how God speaks to me.
We all want God’s Angel to show up in our dreams (Matthew 1:20-21), or my favorite, God speaking in a loud, audible voice (1 Samuel 3:1-10). But that’s not my case. Mine is a bit different, and at the tender age of 26, I realize it might not change. Here are my thoughts, the way you hear God is specifically and directly related to who you are as a person. The part of you that may never change throughout your life.
So you might be thinking, well, Tisian, how do you hear God? The truth is, I don’t “hear” Him at all. However, what I feel is a gut-wrenching pull of not being able to let something go. Not painful, of course.
During spring break, I contemplated the most recent fiasco. I tried to distract myself and not think about it by streaming, listening to murder mystery podcasts, going to the gym, and calling my therapist for an emergency meeting. Some of them are very helpful, right? But none of them are God. But for the past six days, I have felt that “gut-wrenching” urge to sit down and have a simple conversation with God about my situation, but I didn’t until I reached my breaking point. And just like that, I nearly had a panic attack in the gym.
This whole time God was repeatedly asking me to sit down and take a moment and process my situation with Him. To be honest, it was the last thing I wanted to do. I was scared that I wouldn’t like the answer he gave me or scared of not receiving a response, period. And how heartbreaking is that? To work so hard to develop this relationship that I’m scared to go to Him when things get tough.
So how does this apply to my thought process on hearing God? Well, when I have a thought or outcome about a situation, regardless of whether I like the solution or not, and I get that feeling I can’t let go of, then I know it’s God. I know it’s not God if I feel nothing about the solution, and it doesn’t give me that feeling. I have the personality type where I quickly move from one thing to the next; it’s challenging for me to focus on just one thing. When I’m unable to move forward or drop an issue, I know it’s God and not me.
Here are some examples that I’ve had when it came to that feeling of uneasiness:
- Noticing when friends weren’t good for me.
- Accepting a random Facebook message from someone.
- Surrendering to God by taking a job that He led me to but that I never wanted.
- Helping a student who was in need and near a mental breakdown.
The above list of examples has had a significant positive effect on my life: I’ve learned my limits and boundaries when it comes to friendships; that Facebook message developed a spiritual siblinghood that led us to baptism; teaching the what seems like the world’s most challenging children yet growing to love and respect them; inadvertently putting my job on the line because I understood the benefit it would have on my student. I don’t regret any of those decisions because my faith in God reassures me that His “voice” and direction led me to make those decisions.
You’re probably thinking, well, that’s great for you, Tisian, but I still don’t hear/feel God. That was my thought process for so long, and to be honest, the only way I can truly listen to God’s still small voice is to slow down and be still myself. Then, the answers/solutions become loud and clear.
