This walk took place at the Seasons of Life labyrinth at Legacy Meridian Park Hospital in Tualatin, Oregon on 10/24/2021. I had the chance to spend the weekend with my second family, the Hipsher and Becker clans, before heading over to Medford to be with my dad for his birthday.
Those who personally know me already know that 2021 was a hard year. I can say, without reservation, that 2021 was the worst year of my life- and that speaks volumes. I had plummeted into a massive depression, rarely left my house, and cried every day, often multiple times a day, for months.
Fast forward to now- I don’t cry every day anymore. I do a decent job of giving the appearance of moving forward with my life. But the hidden Sheli, the one who works hard to hide emotions like grief and hurt, wonders if I will ever truly be able to let go, move forward (in heart and spirit) and really heal.
I know I am not alone in this. I know others are enduring struggles of their own. Betrayal, disappointment, hurt, anger, remorse, grief. We are all in it, together. All of us.
It has been a continuous faith journey, and labyrinths are a big part of my faith walk. So, this walk… well, this walk complicated things in my mind.
But there were other, vaguer, harder-to-pin-down feelings, like: a pit in the stomach that means something is either really good or really bad or both. A feeling of being old and young at once. A sense of beginnings and endings happening at the same time. A certainty that your life is changing, but an uncertainty about how it's changing and whether you want it to.
Your paths will cross again
Relationship are like the tides- they ebb & flow. Sometimes, they come together; other times, they are asunder.
Rest assured, that your paths will cross again, at the right time and in the right place.
I'l see you when the road decides it's time for our paths to cross again.
You will come together.
Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.
It’s not over.
This was a hard walk for me to reflect on. The ‘messages’ received don’t look anything like the life I’m currently living or the things I’m seeing. It makes my future feel very uncertain, and it’s hard to feel hopeful in the midst of such ambiguity. My life feels like its in a holding pattern and I’m constantly wondering, “What’s next?” I guess this is part of “stepping out in faith”.
There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.
