Session 16: A Lesson in Grace

A common theme of my Therapy Thursday sessions was “GRACE“. The word came up only occasionally, but it was frequently alluded to.

After hearing it a few times in my sessions with Ken, it became a word that kept showing up in my life… How much more clear could the message have been for me? 

PRACTICE GRACE.

DEMONSTRATE GRACE.

SHOW GRACE.

I would like to have said SHOW MORE GRACE, but the harsh reality is that grace was not something that I had practiced very much in my life.

My Therapy Thursday sessions made it clear that my critical nature was a poison that kept me from connecting in a positive way with people I loved.  Ken never came out and said that directly, of course- part of therapy is about discovering these things for ourselves. 

And its not like this fact was unknown to me… after all, when I started therapy, I said that one of the issues I wanted to address was whether my expectations were too high (read: unrealistic).

GRACE

According to Merriam-Webster.com, Grace is “unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification”. I also liked this alternative definition: “disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency”

Dictionary.com has it defined (in this context) as “favor or goodwill”

Ken defined it as “unmerited favor”

I was encouraged to practice GRACE, and since I didn’t really know what that looked like or how to do it very well, Ken gave me these tools/concepts to add to my  personal growth toolbelt.

  • Be kind in what I say and how I say it.
  •  Express gratitude whenever possible.
  • Be forgiving.
  • Ask for forgiveness when I err.
  • Care about others & help when I am able.
  • Remain calm and composed when others are rude.
Above all else, and regardless of the circumstances, I should always try to: 

“Treat people better than they deserve to be treated.”

These are simple principles of decency, yet I can think of several instances when this is NOT the way I behave.

However, I am work in progress, so I will keep striving to live this way. As we all should.

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

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