In 2006, as my 2nd marriage disintegrated, I decided that getting some professional counseling was a good idea. I wasn’t interested in couples counseling- 18 months prior, I had asked my then-husband to go for joint counseling and he had refused. A year and a half later, when I asked for a divorce, he refused, begging me to work it out and suggesting that we go to counseling instead. But too much time has passed, too much resentment and frustration had built up, and I was no longer interested in saving my marriage – I just wanted to save what was left of myself.
I had received a recommendation from someone I highly respected and made an appointment with a PsyD named Ken (last name withheld to protect his privacy).
My logic was this: In both instances, I initiated the separations and divorces, despite both husbands begging me to reconsider, and me adamantly refusing. As I explained to Ken in our first session – I was the common denominator in my failed relationships, and I really needed to spend some time determining why. I needed to know if:
- My relationship expectations were too high/unreasonable
- How to be successful in future relationships
Thus, Therapy Thursdays (TT) were born. I was serious about learning what drove my behavior and decisions, and brought a journal to my sessions, taking notes so that I could refer back to them later. It turns out that a lot of information can be packed into a 50 minutes session, and while it all made sense in the moment and sessions flowed smoothly, if I didn’t have it written down to refer back to later, I missed the opportunity to continue the personal growth work outside of my sessions.
My Therapy Thursday blog posts are excerpts of things I learned and discussed with Ken over the years. In many cases, the context of my personal situation may not be clear to you, but that is irrelevant – I am sharing these with the hope that these snippets will give you some insights that will help you on your own personal growth journey. Expect brevity for many TT posts, as most of the work and understanding is within you – not on the screen.
